I would like to start off this post by thanking my dear friend Sean Taylor. If it weren’t for you not being able to go to Biblestudy Fellowship tonight, this post wouldn’t have happened.
Every Monday night I risk my life as I climb into Sean’s Cadillac with the zebra print headliner as we go to BSF in Abbotsford for our weekly bible study. This was the 5th week of our study through the book of Isaiah. When Sean first told me about this study I was very excited to take on this yearlong study. The first 4 weeks, I think I was more excited to get to spend 3 hours goofing off with Sean than I was about the actually study. That changed tonight.
After last weeks study, Sean said that he wasn’t going to be at tonight’s class. I brushed it off as no big deal, not thinking much about it at the time. But today on my coffee break I stopped by Sean’s office to chat for a few minutes before going back to work where I was reminded that I would be going up to our class on my own. Again I didn’t think much of it at the time until 4:30 rolled around and I was cleaning up at work. I was tired, and was looking at what is going to be an extremely full week worth of work. My selfish mind was already telling me that I should just stay home tonight and rest for the next day of work. As I drove home I kept trying to justify skipping class. Sean wasn’t going. Dave couldn’t make it. It was starting to rain. The more I kept thinking about it, the more comfortable my sweats and the couch were sounding. However, after eating dinner and getting cleaned up from work I remembered that I had promised Sean that I would get him the notes for tonight and I didn’t want to let him down. So I gathered my things, got some coffee and made the drive up to class.
Thank you Jesus for not letting me skip tonight.
The lecture tonight was about Isaiah 6, Isaiah’s vision and commission from the Lord. I went to my discussion group after opening our meeting singing hymns (which is one thing that I absolutely love about BSF) and got settled in. We jumped right into the passage and started to go through and analyze it verse by verse. In the opening 4 verses, Isaiah describes to us what he saw. What he saw was the Lord Almighty, sitting on His throne. Surrounding Him were Seraphim, heavenly hosts with 6 wings that sing “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty.” Our discussion continued and was going great, but for some reason I hadn’t really connected with what the guys where saying. Then we read verse 5.
5And I said, “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”
This verse spoke to me. It struck a chord in my heart and I was hooked on the discussion, hanging on every word, trying to glean any bit of knowledge from the other men in my group. What stuck out to me right away was Isaiah’s fear of the Lord. He didn’t approach the situation lightly. He didn’t sit there and try to reason with God about his sin. He didn’t try to justify his sinful actions on Earth. NO! He IMMEDIATELY humbled himself before God and cried out “Woe is me!” In that moment he knew that there was nothing he could do to make himself right before the Lord.
That verse left me questioning myself. Do I humble myself before God? Do I try and justify my sin? Do I approach God with a righteous fear and respect? Or have I bought into this mentality that God is just a “buddy” who I can casually talk to from time to time when I’m having an issue in my life that I can’t seem to fix on my own?
Our discussion continued on, talking about how Isaiah was made right in God’s eyes, the burning coal that touched his lips and how his sin was atoned for. Then we got to the last 6 verses of the passage.
8And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”
That is a bold statement. And if I am truly honest with myself, that is a statement that I am scared to death to make. Isaiah didn’t even hesitate with it though. Just like his immediate response to humble himself before God, he was immediately ready to go wherever God called him to go. This wasn’t an easy task that God had set before him either. He was going to go and tell the nation of Israel of their coming judgment for turning their backs on God. For worshiping self-fulfilling desires; gluttony, drunkenness, pride, covetousness. For self-complacency. For calling evil good and good evil. For perverting justice. These people had decided that they were going to do whatever fit them best. (Any of this sounding familiar?)
Isaiah knew that he was going to face plenty of opposition. That he would be ridiculed, chastised, protested against. The people he was trying to reach would refuse his message and as a result would harden their hearts towards God. To fulfill the call that God had for him would require that he hold nothing back from Him. Isaiah’s example of total abandonment for the Lord requires all of us to check where we are. To see what we still are holding on and don’t want to give up. My list of things that I still struggle to give up to God is quite long still. It is a daily battle to trust that God will provide every need we have.
Leaving BSF tonight I felt an overwhelming sense of joy. I feel like I broke through a wall in understanding what it really takes to serve such a holy God. I learned that I must approach God with more of a righteous fear like Isaiah had. That even though God is a friend, someone I can go to with anything, He is still the Lord Almighty, Creator of the universe. Perfect and Holy, lacking nothing. I must go to Him and sing praises. Thank Him for the many blessings that He has given me in life. Not just when I have a problem. I can’t shrink God down to fit in a box.
My final point for the night was a question I asked myself, and I don’t know what my answer is yet. I know what I want it to be, but if I’m going to be honest with myself and with God it is going to take prayer to discern that answer.
When God is calling me to take a stand for Him, to speak out for Him, to witness for Him, to live out my calling in life for Him, am I like Isaiah, jumping up and down screaming, “HERE I AM LORD!!! SEND ME!!!” Or am I like Jonah, running away from God, trying to avoid what He has called me to do?
For my sake I hope that I am becoming more like Isaiah in my response to the Lord because I really don’t feel like ending up in the stomach of a whale.
